by Maggie Fraser

My first memories of Christmas are family, food, and gifts! Before I understood the pagan traditions that come from my Scottish-Gaelic heritage and the celebration of Christ's birth that we choose to mark in December, I just knew the feeling of being surrounded by light and love.

As I grew up, the time spent around the Christmas tree and the holiday table with friends and family became more important to me because I was growing to understand what it meant to love and be loved. As an adult, making my own choices around what traditions to hold to is choosing what is sacred to me. As a Christian, the most holy of all is keeping Christ at the centre. God sending that little baby to be born to a virgin and laid in the manger was the beginning of thousands of years of people finding the Christ child in their hearts.

The fact that we celebrate Jesus' birthday at this time of year (yes I know it's not really the day He was born) is significant because the whole world literally stands still and remembers something so holy, so awe-inspiring, so joyful - one night a year people all over the world stop to contemplate the coming of a King.

And whether you chose to claim Him as your Saviour or don't, the very imagining of that night when the angels appeared to the shepherds and the magi followed the star and the cry of a baby pierced the night as a young mother wrapped the Child in swaddling clothes in a cold stable in a tiny little town, brings people together to wonder at the awesome plan of an awesome God. Even today people turn on the news to see Bethlehem mark Christmas in the town square for the first time in over two years. The impact of the arrival of the Christ child is certain.

As I've grown older, I also choose to observe Yule by honouring nature, hanging the mistletoe, burning candles or having a bonfire on the Solstice, and incorporating special foods. We know that having an evergreen tree in the home is a pagan tradition: the evergreen symbolizes life, rebirth, and hope during the darkest and coldest days - but it also represents how different cultures and traditions can evolve and become a part of how we celebrate: Christians have now adopted the "Christmas tree" as the centre of the hearth.

Another example of that, for me, is learning and making something from the countries where my friends are from or their heritage - Brazil, the Caribbean, China, Colombia, Germany, Guyana, Jamaica, Mexico, Nigeria, Russia, Sweden, the Ukraine.

I also love love love buying or making gifts for my friends at Christmas. It is literally the only time of year I set foot inside a mall, and I love seeing all the lights and decorations and things that are materialistic and/or consumerist! I joyfully make lists and wrap presents and send cards, and I revel in drinking hot chocolate and eggnog and baking Christmas goodies and donning an ugly sweater and watching all the holiday specials! and all of that brings me back to the magical feeling of waking up Christmas morning and seeing that pagan tree with the materialistic gifts all around and opening my stocking and travelling to see family and building a snowman and singing carols and reading the holy Bible and eating a big special meal and falling asleep in new pyjamas knowing, just knowing that I was loved, and for one day of the year all was well in the world and there was peace and goodwill toward men.

Christmastime is hard for me now (as it is with many) because family and friends have come and gone, or never were in some cases. This year I'll be attending a Blue Christmas service at a local church.

When not everything is holly jolly, mistle-toe, and ho-ho-ho for everyone, many churches hold a special service known as Blue Christmas or Comfort and Joy. It's a time when parishioners are invited to come into a space that offers quiet, calm, and respite from everything that tells us we should be at the centre of the perfect Instagram reel at this time of year. A place to step back from the carols, the shopping, the festivities and social pressures, where we find room for Christ and make room for the emotions that are inherently the opposite of what we're expected to be feeling: loss, longing, mourning, sorrow, grief, even regret, anger, shame ... and more messy, complicated stuff that often only manifests as tears. There may be music or not. There may be the opportunity to light a candle in memory of a loved one. The service leader might include some Bible verses to offer comfort. I'm grateful for the opportunity to find stillness at my local church this year.

The way we celebrate can and does evolve as the years go by, and that's important too. Mostly, I hope we can embrace the Light every year, whether that signifies the lengthening days after the Solstice or the coming of the Christ child.

Merry Christmas, Blessed Yule, and Happy Solstice to all.

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