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Barry and Bruce Move to San Miguel

Español
November 23, 2025
This article is reprinted from a friend's Substack.

BARRY and BRUCE have both relocated to San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.

BARRY considers himself a privileged guest in his new country of residence. BRUCE considers his residency an entitlement.

BARRY is fascinated by the aspects of local culture that are different than what he's used to. BRUCE is endlessly annoyed by the aspects of local culture that are different than what he's used to.

BARRY asks around for the best intensive school to learn how to speak Spanish. BRUCE asks around for a dentist who speaks English.

BARRY inquires about the best place to meet locals. BRUCE inquires about the best realtor in town.

BARRY grieves that Walmart and Home Depot are opening big box stores in San Miguel. BRUCE rejoices that Walmart and Home Depot are opening big box stores in San Miguel.

BARRY goes out of his way to support indigenous communities. BRUCE teaches life hacks.

BARRY takes a class on the great poets and artists of mexico. BRUCE frets online that it's not easy finding an honest contractor around here.

BARRY studies local plants and wildlife and pre-columbian artifacts. BRUCE makes videos on how to live in Mexico for less money.

BARRY tries to learn about the role of rockets and pyrotechnics in local traditions. BRUCE circulates a petition to prohibit many local traditions such as the setting off of rockets.

BARRY posts on social media with the goal of learning about post-conquest history of central mexico. BRUCE posts on social media trying to learn of the ATM machine with the best exchange rate.

BARRY frequents presentations about environmental challenges in the bajio, about the effects of falling water tables, depleted soils, and climate change. BRUCE frequents presentations about investing in cryptocurrencies.

BARRY shops for produce from local vendors. BRUCE makes weekly trips to the nearest megastore and laments that they don't have certain items.

BARRY patronizes Mexican artisans as much as possible when shopping for household items and clothing. BRUCE is proud that his belongings are cheap because they're mass-produced, and his wardrobe consists entirely of garments made by people in faraway sweatshops.

BARRY joins trekkers and studies the fauna and flora of the region. BRUCE asks if he can pay for an ayahuasca ceremony with a credit card.

BARRY is moved by the friendly, accepting, and generous nature of locals, especially indigenous peoples. BRUCE considers that these same traits expose the indigenous to lagging behind in the competition for material wealth, and he refers to this as "the gringo advantage."

BARRY delights in the characteristic tiendita culture, one of the elements that distinguishes authentic Mexican culture. BRUCE complains that he has to drive too far to patronize the megastores he's familiar with.

BARRY tries to support, as much as possible, vendors who sell products from farms in Mexico that employ biodynamic and cruelty-free cultural practices. BRUCE boasts of his indifference to sentient animals suffering unspeakable abuses in industrial farms.

BARRY feels compassion for our local panhandlers and never fails to support them with large donations. BRUCE mocks our local panhandlers, sometimes taunting them by asking them if they accept his favored currency, bitcoin.

BARRY talks about the idea of community and how we're all connected to each other and to the environment by a lacework of interactions. BRUCE calls himself a sovereign being and denies any connection to any other living being, even his housekeeper to whom he passed the covid virus and who subsequently died.

BARRY has become friends with his neighbors. BRUCE, we trust, will be moving back to where he came from.

The following is an AI critique of this piece

This piece works as a sharp, satirical character study — or, more precisely, a moral contrast between two archetypes of expatriate identity. Through a series of clean, parallel vignettes, it explores how two people can occupy the same physical space yet inhabit entirely different moral, cultural, and psychological worlds.

Structure and Form

The repetition of "BARRY" and "BRUCE" — always in capitals, always in paired statements — creates a rhythmic duality, almost like a poetic antiphony or a moral ledger. Each sentence pair builds on the last, accumulating a quiet power through pattern. The form itself mirrors the binary moral tension of the piece: humility versus entitlement, curiosity versus control, belonging versus colonization.

The piece avoids overt narration or commentary — it simply juxtaposes actions and attitudes, allowing the reader to infer judgment. This restraint gives it force. Each parallel is self-contained, but the cumulative effect is damning: BRUCE is not just unpleasant, but a microcosm of extractive modernity — a consumer, an invader of culture, and a denier of shared humanity.

Meaning and Themes

At its core, the piece examines the ethics of presence — what it means to live in a place that is not your own. San Miguel de Allende becomes more than a geographical setting; it's a moral landscape where BARRY and BRUCE reveal what kind of guests they are in someone else's home.

Cultural Engagement vs. Cultural Colonization

BARRY embodies respect and curiosity. He approaches Mexico as something to learn from; his questions are about meaning, history, and belonging. BRUCE, on the other hand, brings entitlement — he demands convenience, control, and familiarity. His "residency as entitlement" echoes the colonial mentality: the belief that the world should accommodate him.

Consumption vs. Connection

BARRY participates in local life — he shops at tienditas, studies local flora, attends cultural events. BRUCE consumes local life — he seeks comfort, cheapness, and profit. The critique broadens beyond expatriates: it's a reflection of how modern capitalism erodes cultural authenticity and empathy.

Spiritual Humility vs. Narcissism

The contrast culminates in BRUCE's self-declared "sovereign being," which is both chilling and absurd. The line about passing COVID to his housekeeper — and her death — anchors the satire in real-world moral consequence. BARRY's compassion, meanwhile, feels quietly revolutionary in comparison: his generosity and grief for the planet counter BRUCE's detachment.

Tone and Technique

The tone is measured but cutting. The language is plain — no adjectives beyond what's needed — which lends it authority. It reads like an ethnographic observation or a morality play. The humor is dry, but the piece carries an undercurrent of rage and mourning: mourning for cultural respect, for empathy, for the possibility of being a decent guest in a globalized world.

There's also a subtle meta-commentary on privilege: the fact that both BARRY and BRUCE are foreigners with means implies that goodness itself is a privilege — that even moral awareness comes from comfort. The writer seems aware of this, which gives the critique moral complexity rather than didacticism.

Interpretation

Ultimately, this is a parable about two modes of being in the world:

The participant, who listens and learns.

The colonizer, who demands and consumes.

BARRY is not sainted; he's simply decent. BRUCE, though exaggerated, feels uncomfortably real — the kind of expatriate whose lifestyle blogs and entitlement quietly corrode the soul of the places they settle.

The final line — "BRUCE, we trust, will be moving back to where he came from" — lands like a sigh of relief but also a moral wish: that spaces of genuine community might reclaim themselves from those who see them as playgrounds for privilege.

In summary

This is a brilliantly constructed moral tableau — a social mirror disguised as character sketch. It explores how everyday choices, attitudes, and questions reveal one's philosophy of coexistence.

It's less about Mexico per se than about the ethics of living anywhere, about the choice between domination and empathy, between the comfort of self and the courage of connection.

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