by Dr. David Fialkoff, Editor / Publisher

We are all guilty; if not legally, then in moral matters; if not towards society as a whole, then in regard to specific individuals. Crimes against humanity are difficult to achieve, but those against the environment, for example, are easily within reach.

Last week on the morning shuttle to the Querétaro airport, the woman in the seat behind me, cataloguing her recent meals, mentioned that the night before she had had octopus for dinner. The savagery of eating such an intelligent, feeling animal, and then so casually bragging about it shocked me. (Especially as I am the sort who prefers to keep my peccadillos private.)

The woman's acquaintance, another perfectly pleasant person, holding her own in the conversation, mentioned that she had missed breakfast that very morning: "I left my keys inside, walked around the corner from my bed and breakfast, with my bags, and the cafe wasn't open yet." At this, in a fit of generosity, I turned and from my bag offered her a banana, which she gratefully, hungrily received. But who really knows, we may soon discover that the lowly plantain has a wealth of intelligence and feeling all its own.

I was on my way to New Orleans where I am visiting my daughter for a few weeks. There are a number of things that make The Crescent City (bounded by Lake Pontchartrain and a meander of the Mississippi River, it's shaped like a quarter moon) refreshingly un-American: its French ancestry, that it is a port city historically connected to other foreign ports, particularly Caribbean and Veracruz, its unique black-white race relations...

When speaking with Mexicans who are unaware of the city's location, I say, "It's straight north across the Gulf from Veracruz." When asked, by anyone, if I visit the States I answer, "Well, I visit New Orleans, but it's not really the United States... it was French."

Of course, the specialness of living with my daughter adds to the exoticism of my visits. Yes, she is quite a character in her own right, but here I am chiefly referring to the change in my lifestyle; going from my very solitary lifestyle in Mexico, to being social and sharing a space. It's all very pleasant and rewarding. Such two peas in a pod, being with her is actually more home than home.

We spend a lot of time together. Her work schedule is flexible. And if I feel like tagging along, there is an office I can use downstairs from hers in the quaint old building on the university campus where she works.

Dinnertime might find us watching a movie. Last night we finished the last half of Martin Scorsese's beautifully filmed, expertly acted, adaptation of Edith Wharton's novel, The Age of Innocence.

Without issuing a spoiler alert, I can relate that the story is about a man's struggle with the seductions and constraints of upper-class society in mid-19th century New York. He meets a woman, of his class, who violates the social norm, and he wrestles, from his place within the social norm, against his fascination with her authenticity.

The question of innocence, as announced in the movie's title, is an interesting one. Is he naive or selfish? Is she childlike or cynical? And how complicit in their relationship is his wife or is society as a whole?

Hiding my sins, even and especially from myself, allows me to consider myself naive, not selfish. From humble origins, until proven wrong, my point of view is usually unsophisticated. I tend to take things at face value. In the movie, for me, if Archer thinks he is in love with Elena, then he is in love with Elena.

My daughter, whose mother's side of the family is much more cultured, read the movie differently: "He was only interested in cheating on his wife. When Elena was freely available, Archer balked."

Our different interpretations of the movie, of Archer and Elena's relationship, put me in mind of a similar disagreement we are having regarding my own Age of Innocence.

In San Miguel I have been seeing a bit of a woman, more than a bit younger than me. In Mexico age is not a barrier in these things. In a year and a half, we've had a half dozen visits, virtually all over brunch at my house. I've written as many poems. Lovely as it has been, it's the slowest courtship I've ever experienced. But then, we've both had to get our lives in order, and things have been moving in the right direction, lately more rapidly so.

As in our different interpretations of Scorsese's movie, I am very romantic about it all, while my daughter worries that I am reading into things, embellishing the relationship, ennobling the dynamic. Cynically, she suspects me of being overly influenced by the ephemeral attraction of youth and the baseness of carnal desire.

Communism's perennial attraction is due to the fact that we grew up with it as our original economic basis. The family exactly follows Marx's dictum, "From each according to their ability. To each according to their need." Similarly, I worry that my daughter expects a relationship to be as simple as it is with her father. Regarding our sharing her house, this visit she told me, "This is as easy as living with someone could be."

I certainly am no authority on the subject of relationships. However, with the possible exception of blood relations; "Flesh of my flesh; bone of my bone," it seems the success of a relationship depends upon agreeing on the rules and playing the game. The devil being in the details, of course, there are different levels of interest, talent and gamesmanship involved in the playing. But we seem to know, almost instinctively, at least when we are not lying to ourselves, when we are with a possible friend or lover.

Someone said, "I have abandoned my search for truth, and am now in the market for a good fantasy." I wouldn't go that far. Truth has its place, if only as an ideal.

More or less, consciously or unwittingly, we are all guilty. Still, clinging to my flawed innocence, my life as I now live it is about creativity, and the realm of possibility.

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Dr. David Fialkoff presents Lokkal, public internet, building community, strengthening the local economy. If you can, please do contribute content, or your hard-earned cash, to support Lokkal, SMA's Voice. Use the orange, Paypal donate button below. Thank you.

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